Preliminary Questions
Do you live within a thirty-minute radius/are you comfortable commuting to Murray Hill or elsewhere in Manhattan to hang out with me?
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Are you crazy?
Can you supply a personal website or social media profile?
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Once I review your application, I will reach out to have a more formal, sit-down interview to be my friend in Manhattan. This interview will be videotaped and I will be posting the footage on social media. Are you able to report to Manhattan and spend at least an hour for the interview?
Open Questions
Why are you filling out this questionnaire?
because I am 1000% curious who would make this questionnaire and also because I think am unhinged and terminally online.
How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?
between 5-20.
Do you listen to Billie Eilish? If so, why?
No. I think the hatred is very overblown but I don't have any strong feelings.
It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?
It depends what happened the night before. I like my beauty sleep but I enjoy a good waltz outside in the morning on a good day.
Have you ever had an existential crisis? How did it come about and what was your ultimate takeaway from it?
Yes. I studied a field that has no career path. I chose a last minute preprofessional path so I could afford to payoff my loans as I have a working class background. My work only somewhat resonates with me but I have made my peace with it as there are realities in the world we can't work through.
You are at a party and a topic comes up that you could go on and on and on about that nobody else knows anything about. What is the topic and would you talk about it or not talk about it?
I am highly interested in design. I can discuss furniture or fashion at length but I know it is not relatable to most people nor do I have any interest in lecturing. I try to be conscientious.
What do you think about feminism? How did you come to that conclusion?
I strongly believe in feminism. I don't believe in gender roles. I am surrounded by intelligent women in my field and I believe very strongly they experience a fair amount of resentment for it.
If there was an alternate reality in which you had a debilitating, life-altering addiction, what would you be addicted to?
My working class background implies opiates and people I grew up with unfortunately ended there.
What are your dreams?
To own my own design studio that is intentional but accessible for life and home goods.
Do you believe in ethical consumerism or is it a drop in a giant well that has already been dug by multinational corporations so it doesn't matter?
I think it is a fine line. There are economic realities that consumer choices make no difference with and I strongly believe that corporations overemphasize these points to avoid responsibility.
There are very intentional ways you can choose to spend that do make an impact. For example, union busting companies are worth boycotting.
Multiple-Choice Questions
What qualities are most important to you in a friend
What is the worst thing on this list
Work is:
Which poet's writing do you most connect with?
Do you feel like you've lived one life or lots of lives?
How do you feel about answering all these questions:
Aristotle once said; "my friends, there are no friends." How do you feel about that:
Essay Question
Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.
I met somebody who was a social climber with a very specific goal. They moved cities and would ingratiate themselves to groups, but the reasoning was that they were looking for individuals to take advantage of for a cuckoldry relationship with their partner at the time.
I thought this was fairly toxic but I treated them with as much respect as I could and made sure to shield friends from the dynamic if i saw it occur. Ultimately we stopped talking because I was not participating in this dynamic. I am sad because we were close and try not to hold any resentment over it.