Hector - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

1. Where do you live?

Sunset Park, Brooklyn

2. Are you crazy?

Yes No

3. Do you want more friends?

internet friends in-person friends both

Open Questions

1. Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

Saw the flyer for the project on my way to work. Thought it was interesting so that night I listened to the podcast on my train ride home. So it had me curious to check out the website and now I’m here.

2. How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

3 if you consider one of those close friends my fiancée.

3. It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

8:30 or 9 if I don’t have to work that day. Working at a restaurant makes my schedule unpredictable at times. But if I don’t work that day I want to be outside most of day and wind down at home in the evening.

4. Do you like to go to any kind of cultural experiences? What kind and how often?

Dia de los muertos if it counts, remembering my loved ones who passed. We celebrate it every year.

5. How do you feel about Amy Winehouse?

Love her music! But so sad how she passed and they she never got the help she really needed. Will miss her but it’s always good to remember her in a positive way.

6. "Uh oh! I'm experiencing a negative emotion"; what happens inside you? How do you deal with it?

Would depend on the situation. If I’m working I stuff it down and be composed, but will unpack those feelings once I get home. Often tell a friend and what happened in that situation the made me feel that negative emotion.

7. How do you feel about school and teachers?

Love teachers and school and the way they try to help young minds and be better people to society. Only wish they would get more help and funding.

8. What is the most meaningful way to spend time?

Being productive if you have something to do, but also relax and just rest when you need to.

9. What is your favorite law (if you do not have a favorite, what is one that you think of positively)?

Easy one! Jaywalking is now legal in nyc! Crazy how you could get fined if you did. I’ve only heard stories of people getting tickets for it.

10. What app on your phone (other than essentials) is your most used app?

Discord for texting, and x and chrome for all my info and memes.

11. What are you hoping to get from filling this out?

Not much just want to contribute to the project. But hey if i get a reply or like that would be cool too.

Multiple-Choice Questions

1. If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which one would you choose:

Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh

2. The worst month is:

January March July November I don't think about this way

3. Do you live to eat or eat to live?

Eat to live Live to eat I'm really not sure It's complicated.... 🙁 I'm uncomfortable by this question and prefer not to answer

4. How do you feel about August: Osage County:

Love that movie! Hate that play! I thought it was a moving and interesting depiction of the American family Merryl Streep was great(doi!) and I am indifferent/feel somewhat positive about it Don't know what that is

5. How often do you speak about your love life with your friends?

A lot Not that often Once every other time I feel it out and need to make sure I don't talk about it too much Everytime I see my best friends

6. Your biggest fear about getting older is:

Becoming irrelevant Running out of time My body falling apart Becoming boring I'm not afraid of getting older

7. Dogs wearing clothes are:

Adorable and necessary for their comfort Humiliating for the dog Fine for practical reasons only (rain, cold) A symptom of social rot Depends entirely on the dog's attitude about it

8. People who don't tip well:

Probably just don't understand how service industry works Are fundamentally bad people Might be going through something financially Should be banned from restaurants I don't judge people's tipping habits

9. Distance in relationships:

Is always a sign something is wrong Can actually strengthen the bond between people Should be avoided at all costs Is necessary for maintaining mystery Means someone isn't trying hard enough

10. The best way to end a text conversation is:

Just stop responding when it feels natural Say 'okay talk soon!' or similar Send a thumbs up emoji You don't end them, they just fade There is no good way

11. The phrase "it is what it is" is:

Zen wisdom Giving up disguised as acceptance Sometimes true, sometimes lazy The most annoying phrase in English Perfect for ending awkward conversations

12. When someone consistently disappoints you, you:

Keep giving them chances because that's what loyalty means Gradually distance yourself while remaining cordial Have a direct conversation about expectations Cut them off immediately - life's too short Use it as an opportunity to examine your own expectations

13. How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed - this was way too long Intrigued - I enjoyed thinking about these things Resentful - some of these felt invasive Excited to discuss my answers with someone Neutral - just another survey

14. If we met in person, what would you want to talk about first:

Something completely unrelated to this questionnaire Why you asked such weird questions The answers we disagreed on most Whatever comes up naturally in conversation I'd rather just see what happens

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

This was one of my biggest friend break ups. So let’s set this up, Ive known this person since elementary school, different middle school and then same high school. We only really hit it off after high school. We had the same friends so naturally we talked and realized we’ve known each other prior and we just hit it off from there. I would consider her one of my best friends at the time this is in my late teens and early 20s. So we were besties for a few years and we even worked together at restaurant.

So let’s get to the break up, it’s been a year or 2 since we worked at the restaurant now. She was dating some guy. One night I got invited to hangout with friends for a karaoke night and we all are having fun. It gets late and a friend wants to go home, so I offer to walk her home. So I do and then go home call it a night. The next day one my friends tells me my bffs boyfriend started bad mouthing me after I left. Saying homophobic things about me, like he really didn’t like me. Here I’m think I was cool with the guy.
So I’m like wow didn’t know he didn’t like me. So days pass and he finds out I know what he said about me. He try’s to apologize for saying those things. But I sort of knew the kind of people who do and say things like that are good people. I didn’t accept his apology and really didn’t want to have anything with him.
So naturally he’s pissed at me now. Tells my bff his girlfriend to distant himself from me. So this goes on for while, things still seem cool with me the bff.

Then I start dating someone from our mutual friend group. We date and everything is dandy, until one day I get a call from my girlfriend at the time crying and saying my bff friend has some dirt on her from a previous relationship she was in. I myself don’t care what she did in the past, that’s her past and I don’t judge. So I call and he tells me he’ll bury it if I break up with my bff in person. I do and it was brutal because I didn’t want to. There’s a lot more to the story.