Adam - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

1. Where do you live?

Frederick County, Virginia

2. Are you crazy?

Yes No

3. Do you want more friends?

internet friends in-person friends both

Open Questions

1. Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

I am intrigued about your project!

2. How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

I would say more than 5 but no more than 10.

3. It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

I am up at 8am. Probably going on errands or working on my graduate studies.

4. Do you like to go to any kind of cultural experiences? What kind and how often?

I usually stick with what I do. I’m not afraid of new things though! I teach middle school music so I am very busy and have little time for much else.

5. How do you feel about Amy Winehouse?

I am rather unfamiliar

6. "Uh oh! I'm experiencing a negative emotion"; what happens inside you? How do you deal with it?

Listen to appropriate music and talk to my friends about if I’m feeling irrational about it or not.

7. How do you feel about school and teachers?

I am a teacher in a school! I actually didnt like school very much when I was younger but have grown to love being a teacher and learning.

8. What is the most meaningful way to spend time?

Working with kids. I am a middle school band teacher!

9. What is your favorite law (if you do not have a favorite, what is one that you think of positively)?

Banning insider trading. Good law, unfortunately not followed enough.

10. What app on your phone (other than essentials) is your most used app?

Tonal Energy Tuner.

11. What are you hoping to get from filling this out?

A new friend! Or friends. Something interesting and new! I love conversations.

Multiple-Choice Questions

1. If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which one would you choose:

Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh

2. The worst month is:

January March July November I don't think about this way

3. Do you live to eat or eat to live?

Eat to live Live to eat I'm really not sure It's complicated.... 🙁 I'm uncomfortable by this question and prefer not to answer

4. How do you feel about August: Osage County:

Love that movie! Hate that play! I thought it was a moving and interesting depiction of the American family Merryl Streep was great(doi!) and I am indifferent/feel somewhat positive about it Don't know what that is

5. How often do you speak about your love life with your friends?

A lot Not that often Once every other time I feel it out and need to make sure I don't talk about it too much Everytime I see my best friends

6. Your biggest fear about getting older is:

Becoming irrelevant Running out of time My body falling apart Becoming boring I'm not afraid of getting older

7. Dogs wearing clothes are:

Adorable and necessary for their comfort Humiliating for the dog Fine for practical reasons only (rain, cold) A symptom of social rot Depends entirely on the dog's attitude about it

8. People who don't tip well:

Probably just don't understand how service industry works Are fundamentally bad people Might be going through something financially Should be banned from restaurants I don't judge people's tipping habits

9. Distance in relationships:

Is always a sign something is wrong Can actually strengthen the bond between people Should be avoided at all costs Is necessary for maintaining mystery Means someone isn't trying hard enough

10. The best way to end a text conversation is:

Just stop responding when it feels natural Say 'okay talk soon!' or similar Send a thumbs up emoji You don't end them, they just fade There is no good way

11. The phrase "it is what it is" is:

Zen wisdom Giving up disguised as acceptance Sometimes true, sometimes lazy The most annoying phrase in English Perfect for ending awkward conversations

12. When someone consistently disappoints you, you:

Keep giving them chances because that's what loyalty means Gradually distance yourself while remaining cordial Have a direct conversation about expectations Cut them off immediately - life's too short Use it as an opportunity to examine your own expectations

13. How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed - this was way too long Intrigued - I enjoyed thinking about these things Resentful - some of these felt invasive Excited to discuss my answers with someone Neutral - just another survey

14. If we met in person, what would you want to talk about first:

Something completely unrelated to this questionnaire Why you asked such weird questions The answers we disagreed on most Whatever comes up naturally in conversation I'd rather just see what happens

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

My friend Sophia and I suddenly stopped talking in my junior year of college. The reason is dubious (as is her boyfriend texting me strangely a few days later letting me know that “if I need to talk to her, use email…”) It really made me upset — there was no communication to me about what HAD happened or what I did. After this period of time I came to resent/ look down on her, as it turned out several of my friends did also. There was a time in our friendship where I wanted more, and I recognized that and took steps to move away from those feelings. I realized my friendship was better put in other places but still believe I need to investigate in myself what really happened there.

My childhood best friend and I have been friends since forever. He was my next door neighbor, and, due to many shortcomings in parenting, spent a lot of time at our house. Due to many shortcomings in MY family, I was an asshole and made him feel like garbage a lot. I was bossy. He moved in 5th grade without saying goodbye and I hadn’t seen him until he reached back out to my brother and I when I was in college. We got to talking about our lives, I, a reformed and better person from my youth, apologized for the way I treated him. He accepted. It turns out he and I went into the same field — music. He plays clarinet at Yale now and I’m a middle school music teacher. I visited him two summers ago, he visited me last summer. We stay in touch and talk semi-regularly. I think of him as a major friendship in my life as its one of the experiences I’ve had that I had the chance to repair. We met at the ripe age of 3 and have known each other for 20 years. I’m thankful for him!