Kaden C. Hughes - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

1. Where do you live?

Manhattan, New York City

2. Are you crazy?

Yes No

3. Do you want more friends?

internet friends in-person friends both

Open Questions

1. Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

I’m New York City transplant from Oklahoma looking to make friends in the city to go out with.

2. How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

Maybe 3 or 4

3. It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

I often work Saturday evenings so I start my morning early with the crossword and some eggs and I try to make my roommate/best friend go out and some crazy early morning adventure with me, then of which he usually turns me down.

4. Do you like to go to any kind of cultural experiences? What kind and how often?

My aforementioned history with Oklahoma leads me to the life of searching for the cowboy nature of New York City, which is seemingly impossible to find I love nothing more than to embrace my culture as a southern Midwestern man. Between rodeos and honky-tonks, it’s surprisingly difficult to find anything that could possibly connect other people in this great city with the place of which I love and my job is to enlighten those who would never experience things I’ve come from so maybe find love or enjoy embrace it as much as I have.

5. How do you feel about Amy Winehouse?

She seemed a fine soul

6. "Uh oh! I'm experiencing a negative emotion"; what happens inside you? How do you deal with it?

I’ve got a pretty mean arsenal of aphorisms and dad jokes so I guess my first thought would be to distract you from the situation. Then because I don’t know you, I’d probably ask your life story and blah blah blah..

7. How do you feel about school and teachers?

I’m in school to be a teacher myself. I think it’s the most admirable and possibly misunderstood career choice that anyone could choose.

8. What is the most meaningful way to spend time?

There’s nothing more or less meaningful than one other thing but the thing that makes spending your time special is having somebody around to be there with you while you do it

9. What is your favorite law (if you do not have a favorite, what is one that you think of positively)?

Might not be what you’re looking for but for me: the lemon law it’s a law that states that within the first five minutes of a first date, you can choose to just up and leave without any repercussions and they’ll understand it

10. What app on your phone (other than essentials) is your most used app?

Instagram

11. What are you hoping to get from filling this out?

And friendship is the second most important thing about being human and if by spending 10 minutes out of my day filling out this form just gives me that the slightest chance of getting closer to having a new friend then it’s worth it for me

Multiple-Choice Questions

1. If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which one would you choose:

Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh

2. The worst month is:

January March July November I don't think about this way

3. Do you live to eat or eat to live?

Eat to live Live to eat I'm really not sure It's complicated.... 🙁 I'm uncomfortable by this question and prefer not to answer

4. How do you feel about August: Osage County:

Love that movie! Hate that play! I thought it was a moving and interesting depiction of the American family Merryl Streep was great(doi!) and I am indifferent/feel somewhat positive about it Don't know what that is

5. How often do you speak about your love life with your friends?

A lot Not that often Once every other time I feel it out and need to make sure I don't talk about it too much Everytime I see my best friends

6. Your biggest fear about getting older is:

Becoming irrelevant Running out of time My body falling apart Becoming boring I'm not afraid of getting older

7. Dogs wearing clothes are:

Adorable and necessary for their comfort Humiliating for the dog Fine for practical reasons only (rain, cold) A symptom of social rot Depends entirely on the dog's attitude about it

8. People who don't tip well:

Probably just don't understand how service industry works Are fundamentally bad people Might be going through something financially Should be banned from restaurants I don't judge people's tipping habits

9. Distance in relationships:

Is always a sign something is wrong Can actually strengthen the bond between people Should be avoided at all costs Is necessary for maintaining mystery Means someone isn't trying hard enough

10. The best way to end a text conversation is:

Just stop responding when it feels natural Say 'okay talk soon!' or similar Send a thumbs up emoji You don't end them, they just fade There is no good way

11. The phrase "it is what it is" is:

Zen wisdom Giving up disguised as acceptance Sometimes true, sometimes lazy The most annoying phrase in English Perfect for ending awkward conversations

12. When someone consistently disappoints you, you:

Keep giving them chances because that's what loyalty means Gradually distance yourself while remaining cordial Have a direct conversation about expectations Cut them off immediately - life's too short Use it as an opportunity to examine your own expectations

13. How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed - this was way too long Intrigued - I enjoyed thinking about these things Resentful - some of these felt invasive Excited to discuss my answers with someone Neutral - just another survey

14. If we met in person, what would you want to talk about first:

Something completely unrelated to this questionnaire Why you asked such weird questions The answers we disagreed on most Whatever comes up naturally in conversation I'd rather just see what happens

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

Not super sure if I’ll hit your work out here because I’m walking in the street using text to speech (Ikik) but

In high school I was best friends with this girl. She was the perfect opposition to me. We just fit together like puzzle pieces and slowly overtime. Things changed. We got closer maybe too close and I’d called a friendship break up because we started dating and however, controversial this answer would be I’ll raise you this

From the moment I met her, I knew she’d be the love of my life (at the time) and she was (at the time also) it was perfect, and in my opinion, the only reason it worked so well was because we were such good friends. And in my fullest opinion, I believe that love (imo the most important thing in human existence) specifically romantic love, and this instance is only allowed growth through friendship. Friendship is the catalyst for every important thing and human existence. And why I specifically say and discuss my transformation of friendship, dying into romance is to display the fact that no matter how friendship dies or breaks up, there’s always something good that has come from it, because even the fact that it existed in the first place that spark that deep friendship was there That’s enough.