Maverick - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

1. Where do you live?

Bushwick

2. Are you crazy?

Yes No

3. Do you want more friends?

internet friends in-person friends both

Open Questions

1. Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

I saw the flier when I was coming back from work and figured I try this out!

2. How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

Like, 4 or 5? By that metric at least, I feel like there's more but I could probably say a handful to be safe.

3. It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

Around 7:30 am. I usually don't have a plan, but if I have something set up at night then I'll wait until that comes through. Otherwise I'll let the time pass however I can.

4. Do you like to go to any kind of cultural experiences? What kind and how often?

I mean, I try to check out concerts and movies typically. I have friends who put on events so that has me out of the house pretty often. Anything beyond that like a class or a festival is sparse, I did the Japan Village Summer Festival this past August and would like to get back into a groove for a Japanese class.

5. How do you feel about Amy Winehouse?

Seems really cool despite the circumstances of her passing, would need to spend time really digging into her discography.

6. "Uh oh! I'm experiencing a negative emotion"; what happens inside you? How do you deal with it?

It's like a tightening regardless of what it is. When I feel this I try to let the feeling happen and react however necessary. If it means crying, if it means vocalizing frustration, I try to feel that and then reflect on why I had that intense of a reaction.

7. How do you feel about school and teachers?

Former teacher/currently involved in educational nonprofit work so I think they're vital but need serious revamp. It's good that we have folks with more of a want to do the work well coming into the teaching space but it really will need community support and shifts in local structures to make schools that feel worthwhile amidst the mass exiting of teachers under these post-lockdown circumstances.

8. What is the most meaningful way to spend time?

Doing stuff that makes you feel good! Cliche I guess but truly we spend so much of our time having to do things for transaction that having hours spent doing something for the pure joy of it is really worthwhile.

9. What is your favorite law (if you do not have a favorite, what is one that you think of positively)?

NYC sanctuary city policies

10. What app on your phone (other than essentials) is your most used app?

Discord probably

11. What are you hoping to get from filling this out?

Not sure! Figured I get the chance to just do something on a whim. If you do wanna hang I'd be down genuinely if that's still an option, I do figure that the rollout of your podcast would take up more time all that said.

Multiple-Choice Questions

1. If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, which one would you choose:

Scary Sporty Baby Ginger Posh

2. The worst month is:

January March July November I don't think about this way

3. Do you live to eat or eat to live?

Eat to live Live to eat I'm really not sure It's complicated.... 🙁 I'm uncomfortable by this question and prefer not to answer

4. How do you feel about August: Osage County:

Love that movie! Hate that play! I thought it was a moving and interesting depiction of the American family Merryl Streep was great(doi!) and I am indifferent/feel somewhat positive about it Don't know what that is

5. How often do you speak about your love life with your friends?

A lot Not that often Once every other time I feel it out and need to make sure I don't talk about it too much Everytime I see my best friends

6. Your biggest fear about getting older is:

Becoming irrelevant Running out of time My body falling apart Becoming boring I'm not afraid of getting older

7. Dogs wearing clothes are:

Adorable and necessary for their comfort Humiliating for the dog Fine for practical reasons only (rain, cold) A symptom of social rot Depends entirely on the dog's attitude about it

8. People who don't tip well:

Probably just don't understand how service industry works Are fundamentally bad people Might be going through something financially Should be banned from restaurants I don't judge people's tipping habits

9. Distance in relationships:

Is always a sign something is wrong Can actually strengthen the bond between people Should be avoided at all costs Is necessary for maintaining mystery Means someone isn't trying hard enough

10. The best way to end a text conversation is:

Just stop responding when it feels natural Say 'okay talk soon!' or similar Send a thumbs up emoji You don't end them, they just fade There is no good way

11. The phrase "it is what it is" is:

Zen wisdom Giving up disguised as acceptance Sometimes true, sometimes lazy The most annoying phrase in English Perfect for ending awkward conversations

12. When someone consistently disappoints you, you:

Keep giving them chances because that's what loyalty means Gradually distance yourself while remaining cordial Have a direct conversation about expectations Cut them off immediately - life's too short Use it as an opportunity to examine your own expectations

13. How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed - this was way too long Intrigued - I enjoyed thinking about these things Resentful - some of these felt invasive Excited to discuss my answers with someone Neutral - just another survey

14. If we met in person, what would you want to talk about first:

Something completely unrelated to this questionnaire Why you asked such weird questions The answers we disagreed on most Whatever comes up naturally in conversation I'd rather just see what happens

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

So, this story kind of encompasses two essential friend breakups, more accurately the rupture of a friend group and then the complete breakup with a friend afterward. Back in 2017 my college suitemates were hosting a party at the end of sophomore year. In the span of maybe 12 hours I found myself disillusioned with this group, which made heading abroad the perfect time to escape them. Then the group fell apart on its own and I had trouble making friends in a new country. This led to me making friends with someone I knew who I'll call H.
This friend, H, was someone I knew through volunteering. While I was abroad I started to speak to them more often, and would eventually hang out in person once I got back. As you can tell from the descriptor of these initial interactions, I was crushing hard on H. H wanted a good friend, I unknowingly wanted a friend with benefits. All this came to a head at their birthday the following year where I had gotten drunk enough to talk to someone else about my perspective, and the following week H responded to me directly and said they no longer wanted to continue our friendship. I was one year out of graduating with no clue as to what I was actually going to do with my life, and losing this friend was the single biggest fumble of my life. I still think it is, even amidst the last 5 years that I’ve endured.
What had helped make this breakup more of a learning experience and not a descent into darker thought patterns was that in tandem, I had actually started to make other friends outside of college altogether. Through other means I ended up finding new friends, and these folks who I’ve gotten to know for the last 6 years I consider my core of friends. It sucks knowing that I lost a good friend, but everything that’s come after I feel grateful that H left me with a vital opportunity to look at myself and consider how to grow and what that could look like. Thank you, H.