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I scrolled down to look at the questions you asked! I think they strike at something important about the qualities of friendship: are we similar, how similar, how do we maintain friendships. And I think, too, even if not chosen these questions help me reflect on my own current friendships - a sort of emotional inventory. So there’s really no harm in filling out the questionnaire. At best, we meet, get along famously, and drink ginger ale while contemplating the gem collection at the natural history museum. At worst, I get to think about my own friends and give form to some of my feelings!

About 7 or 8. (Around 3 from college, 3 from law school, and 2 here!)

Not really - sorry, maybe?

Ooop! I used to wake up really late but I work in person and early so now I wake up earlier on weekends too. I love a warm morning. I am up around 8:30AM. What I do really depends on the weather. If it’s nice, I like to walk to a coffee shop (my fav in the city is La Cabra). I like to sit outside of a church (just because I think they’re beautiful). I like going to small book stores (but I don’t buy anything because I have a rule in place that I can only buy a book once I’ve finished my last one and I’m in the middle of books on Libby all the time). I like wandering around but I go out to a specific neighborhood - this Saturday is cobble hill hehe

Yes. I finished law school but in my last year I had this huge crisis because throughout my life I was gearing up to be a criminal attorney… and I believed in this idea of “progressive prosecution.” I think I was a little starry eyed about “Justice” in general and law school made me confront my broken perceptions… I had an interview w/ the Manhattan DA’s office (long story) and realized I couldn’t be a prosecutor. Then, since it was the beginning of covid, I got this idea that the only ethical career is either Creative or Health-Oriented. So I applied to a [REDACTED] medical programming When I got in, i started classes (and that’s why I moved to the city in the first place). After a few semesters, I realized that there was advocacy that I could do that wasn’t actively harmful (and also I didn’t wanna do 8 more years of school lol) so I dropped out. And now I’ve been doing civil administrative stuff - I no longer think all of my MEANING has to be from my job but I think I also don’t wanna do anything I actively think is morally corrupt

The federal rules of evidence hahaha!!! I actually really love them <3 they basically dictate what is allowed to be showed to a jury at a trial, and weirdly it comes up more than you think (because ppl are into true crime and there’s this whole layer of jurisprudence simmering under the surface)Also lateral thinking puzzles - I love them sm and sometimes make my coworkers do them haha (ex: Jane and Casey are laying dead on the floor surrounded by water. What happened? - you can ask unlimited yes or no questions)I wouldn’t talk abt it unless it came up or do a puzzle if it wasn’t the vibe - also I think that it would be selfish to bring up without prompting because at that point, I’m talking for myself, not to engage w/ other people.

I’m a feminist, although I think particularly in higher ED, feminism is quite white-washed and classist. I’m a little wary of the western manifestations of feminism. Feminism in rural India has a different meaning than it does here - or, if not a different meaning, different actionable causes. I think what’s brought me to this conclusion is I have two sisters (one older and one younger) and my mom emigrated from india. Sometimes she hears our convos and is like… “y’all are doing too much, this is not the thing to fixate on” which I understand. But I think also it’s dangerous to fall into “what-about-itis” because it shifts responsibility and it can be possible to care about global feminism AND feminism in one’s own space. I’m still learning and I think my job, mostly, operating from a place of relative privilege, is to listen to others

Celcius :( I’m already sort of a caffeine fiend :(

Contentment, a garden, and a kitchen that I’ve painted in which I prepare food from my garden (very Voltaire, I know)

“No ethical consumption under capitalism” was never meant to be used as a justification for shitty choices, it’s about commodity fetishism - and even if I grant that nothing is Purely Ethical, we can agree some decisions are more ethical than othersAnd how we purchase drives demandAnd I am privileged enough to consume relatively responsibly so I ought toAnd also fuck shein

This December, I met up with my best friend from high school after 7 years.

Our friendship did not end with a bang. It ended slowly and then only after years, suddenly. We had been close friends in high school - we went to each others house every day in summer (she was a few shorts blocks from me). We played Dungeons and Dragons in our friend group of 5. We played tennis every Friday night. We held hands, constantly. People at school thought we were in love.

So when the five of us all decided to go to the same college, it was no surprise.[REDACTED] and [REDACTED] were dorming together, as were the two boys. But it was college! I wanted to meet new people, didn’t want to do my hometown in a new place. So I lived with a stranger. And at first, we’d all meet at a dining hall. But I started to create a new friend group. And [REDACTED] said she didn’t want to hold hands on campus because people would get the wrong idea at such a liberal school. And I would ask each month if she wanted to hang out, and she would say yes. And then every two months, and then every six. And then one day without knowing, it would be the last time until 7 years later.

This December I was at a shitty Italian restaurant where the music was too loud, and Frankie Valli and the four seasons were blaring. They were her favorite. And I thought - what is the harm in getting coffee while I’m in my hometown? I knew she was there from a mutual friend. So I texted her.

When I saw her, she had longer hair - it was curly; I never saw it curly because she would straighten it every morning in high school and college. She was shorter than in my mind. She had blond highlights and a scrunchie in her hair.

But she still ordered boba the same way, her customer voice an octave higher than her speaking voice. She still pointed to the menu item with her small hands.

We talked for hours. About how I felt I was the only one who reached out, about how she felt that I had “dropped them” for cooler friends (which caught me by such surprise and I couldn’t help but laugh), about how I was hurt that she cared enough about strangers opinions to stop holding hands. We came away knowing that we were kids and now looking back, we can’t expect the emotional maturity we have now to retroactively apply. We can still cherish the friendship we had and know it made us better people. Sometimes we demand too much from a single person - friendship or relationships generally.

It seems like the prompt implies that there is a distinction between friendships that had a “breakup” and “successful” friendships. My friendship with [REDACTED] was, and is successful because we supported each other, laughed together, and cared for each other - even if the friendship wasn’t permanent in the way we can sometimes romanticize and idealize friendships. They can ebb and flow and end, and still be successful. My friendship with [REDACTED] challenged me: she was smart and witty. She was kind and vulnerable and allowed for my own vulnerability. She saw me make mistakes and called me out on them. And if I see her again, perhaps it will be a new chapter of our friendship - how exciting!!!