Preliminary Questions
Do you live within a thirty-minute radius/are you comfortable commuting to Murray Hill or elsewhere in Manhattan to hang out with me?
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Are you crazy?
Can you supply a personal website or social media profile?
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Once I review your application, I will reach out to have a more formal, sit-down interview to be my friend in Manhattan. This interview will be videotaped and I will be posting the footage on social media. Are you able to report to Manhattan and spend at least an hour for the interview?
Open Questions
Why are you filling out this questionnaire?
Curiosity 🐈⬛☠️
How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?
There are people that meet those specifications that I do not consider close friends and vice versa. Let's say 3 though.
Do you listen to Billie Eilish? If so, why?
Yes, because she is one of the best singers of the 21st century and her songs are mournful and beautiful.
It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?
Maybe 11am? Lately I've been wanting to hibernate. Maybe go out for drinks in the evening. Or, have an outing. Or, work on being creative/productive.
Have you ever had an existential crisis? How did it come about and what was your ultimate takeaway from it?
Yes, mostly in college/early 20's. My takeaway is we are sentient specks of dust in a chaotic universe, so better make the most of the time we have without interfering with other people trying to make the most of the time they have.
You are at a party and a topic comes up that you could go on and on and on about that nobody else knows anything about. What is the topic and would you talk about it or not talk about it?
Maybe poetry
What do you think about feminism? How did you come to that conclusion?
I am an active feminist, I have been known to write (and share) feminist poetry. I didn't need to come to a conclusion that I am worthy of equal rights as men, that belief comes naturally.
If there was an alternate reality in which you had a debilitating, life-altering addiction, what would you be addicted to?
Opiates
What are your dreams?
Live a peaceful, stress-free, childless life not financially tied to or dependent on any man. Be known for my poetry. Spend as much time with my cats as possible. Start a profitable e-commerce brand and live comfortably.
Do you believe in ethical consumerism or is it a drop in a giant well that has already been dug by multinational corporations so it doesn't matter?
Sure, sometimes. I think it's a positive thing, but the extra cost means I won't always making my purchases with that in mind. I used to have an ethical/sustainable fashion blog. I try to buy most my clothes second hand.
Multiple-Choice Questions
What qualities are most important to you in a friend
What is the worst thing on this list
Work is:
Which poet's writing do you most connect with?
Do you feel like you've lived one life or lots of lives?
How do you feel about answering all these questions:
Aristotle once said; "my friends, there are no friends." How do you feel about that:
Essay Question
Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.
I'm not going to write 500 words because she is not worth 500 words. I went through a friend breakup with a friend I'd known since high school in my 20's. She was a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder and I was her narcissist supply for a time. I was at her beck and call, the perfect friend. Dependable to the end. But she had so much NEED and was always in some crisis. It left me drained. I began to realize that my actions were not reciprocated when I called upon her. When I dared to stand up for myself, she called me toxic and said our friendship needed to end. I wholeheartedly agree. I kind of still resent her, but it's a long time ago now. I have her blocked on everything and try not to think of her.