Preliminary Questions
Do you live within a thirty-minute radius/are you comfortable commuting to Murray Hill or elsewhere in Manhattan to hang out with me?
Are you crazy?
Can you supply a personal website or social media profile?
Once I review your application, I will reach out to have a more formal, sit-down interview to be my friend in Manhattan. This interview will be videotaped and I will be posting the footage on social media. Are you able to report to Manhattan and spend at least an hour for the interview?
Open Questions
Why are you filling out this questionnaire?
How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?
Do you listen to Billie Eilish? If so, why?
It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?
Have you ever had an existential crisis? How did it come about and what was your ultimate takeaway from it?
You are at a party and a topic comes up that you could go on and on and on about that nobody else knows anything about. What is the topic and would you talk about it or not talk about it?
What do you think about feminism? How did you come to that conclusion?
If there was an alternate reality in which you had a debilitating, life-altering addiction, what would you be addicted to?
What are your dreams?
Do you believe in ethical consumerism or is it a drop in a giant well that has already been dug by multinational corporations so it doesn't matter?
Multiple-Choice Questions
What qualities are most important to you in a friend
What is the worst thing on this list
Work is:
Which poet's writing do you most connect with?
Do you feel like you've lived one life or lots of lives?
How do you feel about answering all these questions:
Aristotle once said; "my friends, there are no friends." How do you feel about that:
Essay Question
Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.
My first year in college I made a wonderful friend. We both hated the over stimulating dining halls so we had this routine where I would go over to her dorm and we would put on wild makeup since she were really into it. At that point in my life I had a lot of questions about gender and we used to play with all the make up techniques to figure out which ones I felt comfortable in and which ones just gave me the ick.
My first summer back in my hometown after college was pretty depressing so we started this tradition of going to concerts to dance it all out. We really used music to bond and this is something I look for in new friends.
Years went by and we stayed close but we both drifted apart when the pandemic first started. I'm pretty bad at online communication (much better in person) so perhaps this put some strain on the relationship.
It came to our last year in college and we both needed a place to live. There were no cheap places for 1 or 2 people so my friend, her partner, myself, and my gf all moved in together. At first some of their requests were a bit strange but I could accommodate them (like having separate cutlery and drying racks). Then we got into our first big fight. It was over smoking weed in the house. My friend and her partner said that we would be evicted, that I would kill their cat, and that they would suffer because of their disability. I also have a disability (which is why I smoke) so I came up with a list of ways I could accommodate both of our needs (I bought smoke barriers for under all the doors, only would smoke in my room with the window open, and had a air purifier going 24/7). My list got a firm NO. I think this was the moment I realized how much I had tried to accommodate her and how little she was willing to hear my side.
It all ended when I was away from the house + they disregarded my one request which was to not call the cops. Not only did they call the cops on our downstairs neighbors they also invite the cops into our home and filled private information I had told her in confidence in the public police report. I understand that she was very scared in that moment and while I tried to prioritized hearing that fear in our conversation I wonder if it came across. I also told her that night that I planned on writing a note to the downstairs neighbors. The next day, after I had sent the note, she wrote a very long and angry text to me saying that she was moving out if I sent the note. I told her I already had and she + her partner moved out within the week.
To top it all off she tried to make me pay the remained of her rent (we were only 3 months into our lease so this would have been thousands) When I told her I could not afford paying her + her partner's rent + that she needed to find a new Tennent she called me a child and blocked me on all social media. That was the end of our friendship.
I like to see both the good and the bad in our friendship. She was a good friend when I had her and I have learned many lessons on what too seek in a friend and what are red flags. I truly hope she has a good life even if we grew apart from each other.