Paolo - Lilly Friend Project

Preliminary Questions

Do you live within a thirty-minute radius/are you comfortable commuting to Murray Hill or elsewhere in Manhattan to hang out with me?

[REDACTED]

Are you crazy?

Yes No

Can you supply a personal website or social media profile?

[REDACTED]

Once I review your application, I will reach out to have a more formal, sit-down interview to be my friend in Manhattan. This interview will be videotaped and I will be posting the footage on social media. Are you able to report to Manhattan and spend at least an hour for the interview?

Yes No

Open Questions

Why are you filling out this questionnaire?

I moved here over two years ago with my sister and girlfriend. Now I’m single and my sister moved back home. I live by myself with my dog and have a hard time finding community outside of work friends.

How many "close friends" (by close friends I mean people that you see more than twice a month if they live in the tri-state area or if they are a long-distance friend that you speak with at least twice a month) do you have?

Do you listen to Billie Eilish? If so, why?

Not actively, but I do appreciate her music. I think the songwriting and production are great and that she’s actually quite talented vocally. That said, I don’t have any playlists that I’ve added her to.

It's Saturday morning! What time are you up and what do you want to do with the day?

Early if I have plans, 10am if not. I will take my notebook to a local cafe with a good vibe and spend some time writing. This is my go-to solo date.

Have you ever had an existential crisis? How did it come about and what was your ultimate takeaway from it?

I mean many. More recently about how I chose this career path as a way to put my ex through her masters program. Now I am deep in a career I never wanted and got cheated on. Earlier this year I was in a salary standoff with the company bc I’m broke af these days and they have yet to give me a raise in over 2 years. I think the frustration triggered an existential meltdown. I think it ultimately led me to realize that even though I’m far removed from a fairly abusive relationship, I still have a good bit of healing to do in an intentional way.

What do you think about feminism? How did you come to that conclusion?

I’m an ally of the feminist movement. I realized I agreed with everything and happy to do my part, but it’s not necessarily my battle that I feel convicted to act on. I used to date the president of the campus feminist club in college so I got my crash course then.

If there was an alternate reality in which you had a debilitating, life-altering addiction, what would you be addicted to?

I mean definitely cocaine

What are your dreams?

Literal dreams - to be able to fly Life dreams - to achieve greatness is something I’m passionate about. Becoming a famous entertainer has always been one of them.

Do you believe in ethical consumerism or is it a drop in a giant well that has already been dug by multinational corporations so it doesn't matter?

I can’t fix America sweetie

Multiple-Choice Questions

What qualities are most important to you in a friend

Loyalty Honesty Humor Inspiration A and B C and D

What is the worst thing on this list

Processed sugar Stubbing your toe Throwing up Your mom(or another parental type figure) telling an old embarrassing story in front of new people Realizing you were scammed out of $30

Work is:

A means to an ends A way I bring my passions to life Something I do to better society A total bummer A myth that allows rich people to steal from poor people

Which poet's writing do you most connect with?

Sylvia Plath Rumi Rupi Kaur Rainer Maria Rilke Pablo Neruda

Do you feel like you've lived one life or lots of lives?

Lots of lives Once life I don't think about it like that I don't feel like I am living I am too busy living to think about it

How do you feel about answering all these questions:

Annoyed Intrigued Resentful Inspiration Excited to meet in person Neutral

Aristotle once said; "my friends, there are no friends." How do you feel about that:

Agree Disagree Neutral That's so cold and unfeeling! Form is emptiness, emptiness is form. Emptiness is not other than form. Form is not other than emptiness

Essay Question

Please describe a friend breakup you have gone through. If you haven't gone through a friend breakup, please explain why you think you have never gone through a friend breakup. Outline a major friendship in your life and explain why it is successful.

All of the people I have ever considered a close friend I am still on great terms with to this day. I feel that I have a natural way of navigating conflict in an agreeable and constructive manner. I rarely get in fights or arguments with someone who I love, and I am overwhelmed by loving company within my various friends (mostly outside of NY sadly). Of course, there are close friendships that drift apart over time, but always with people who I would certainly have a great time with if I were to see them again. I had a great deal of difficulty though when I was with my ex. She had severe anger issues, and she was always wrathful as anyone she ever saw as “competition” in my life. She would start intense drama with all of my friends individually (and my family) and make it impossible for me to be in good standing with them. Slowly but surely I found myself in excruciating isolation. Not only was I lonely, but I mourned for the beautiful friendships that had been tarnished and lost. I fought tirelessly to rectify all dynamics and relationships, but some of my closest ones could not truly be fixed until I broke up with her. Since then, I have rejoiced in the return of those meaningful relationships in my life, free of any wedge previously driven within them.

Overall, I love my friends so much, and I am often acknowledged as the staple that puts in the effort to keep us all consistently connected. Some of my closest friends to this day I met when I was 4 years old, and we talk all day every day.